The Robin Hood Speech
Morningstar’s famous Robin Hood Campaign Speech
As president I will begin to address the huge problem of keeping the states united when there are millions more humans then we had begun with back in 1776. I will begin the project if breaking the country up into 5 smaller regions that can better care for their own concerns.
During the debates and campaign speeches I promise to be honest. This government is so top heavy I am not really sure there is much I can do if I become president. It is so corrupt and rotten and steeped in greed and beaurocracy I think the other candidate is dishonest to promise you the moon just to win a popularity contest.
You all know that I am only running because I have been begged repeatedly to try to do what I did in California as Governor. California, although large, is not quite as unwieldy as an entire nation. My motives are pure. I want to help end suffering. I like being adored as much as the other candidate but I could just stay home and be adored by my math students if that was my motive. Nor is power and glory my motive. I would rather be back in my school teaching kids. I am only here because you have asked me to be. And isn’t that really the only reason any one should be a leader, because you are wanted.? Not because of campaign funding or favoritism or being from the most powerful family in the country.
I will do my best. But I cannot do this all alone even if I make it to office. I am not going to lie to you and make all kinds of inflated promises I can’t keep. The only way I can make the changes you want me to make is if every single one of you help me every step of the way. We are fighting corruption and corporations so you must use all your boycotting power to put the bad ones out of business.
This is a democracy, which means we all have to contribute the best we can. I am not going to pretend to be Santa Clause and make it all better once I am elected. I can suggest and guide but you all have to set aside petty differences and work together if you want the there to even be living beings on this planet much less a nation called the United States of America.
You already know I am running on a platform of saving every child from suffering and destitution and that means thinking about the environment and schooling and food and health care for these children. This means that NO I am not going to promise that the rich folks will get to drive gas guzzlers and just stay comfortable while the rest of us work, and keep exactly what they have. If I become president and I have any effect at all the ______ is going to hit the fan. Just call me Robin Hood, because I will do everything I can to give children food and housing even if it means taking from the rich.
If I become president you do not get to just go about your life the way you always have. You will have to get off your duffs and contribute to someone besides number one for a change.
I think you are all far to intelligent to keep listening to candidates that tell you that you can just keep doing what you are doing now and they are going to magically make it all better for you. Like the notorious doctor Phil always said: “How has that been working for you so far?”
People, take a look at your history for the last 400 years, no for the last ten thousand years as a species. Has exploiting each other to get something for yourselves really been working all that well? This country was built on the backs of human slaves as well as animal slaves and it has suffered the repercussions ever since.
Come on humans. As one humble dog who does not know a whole lot, I ask you; isn’t it time to grow up as a species?
When Morningstar won and they declined to let her hold office she said “You government humans are nuts, I mean seriously mentally ill, get yourselves some help. I don’t want to play your little game anymore.” Then she refused to speak to the press anymore. She then gathered her forces and mobilized the biggest general strike and march ever in the history of the planet. Humans joined up and helped by the millions. After two months of slowed workforce and few services the opposition stepped down and let her take office.